“Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
This poem was written by Robert Frost, an American poet of the early 20th century. He lived and taught in New England for the majority of his life and is one of the poets whose work has ‘moved’ me throughout my life. I lived close to Robert Frost’s New Hampshire home and would drive by it frequently during my early adult life while driving to and from my catering job. It didn’t hit me until much later at how deeply this poem has resonated with my life. And during the last few years and especially these past few months, I have begun the journey and lessons learned from my own grief and loss and my understanding of the process of “letting go.” There are some energetic practices and herbal allies that have helped over these few years/months to assist with this letting go process, and much more that I am learning along the way.
So first thing is first: When you’re doing any inner work, and dealing with sadness, grief, loss, change, transitions… the focus will be the heart. The heart–and more specifically the heart energy center or heart chakra–is the bridge between heaven and earth, between the physical manifestations of our reality and the the spiritual realm, and is a gateway that can open oneself up to the expressions of compassion, love, joy, bliss, forgiveness, empathy, inner peace, creativity, and acceptance. The heart center is also known in TCM to be the place where the ‘shen,’ or one’s spirit, resides. When there is a disruption to your life, whether it be a divorce, breakup, loss of a job or change of career, birth of a baby, death of a loved one, relocation or move to a new home, a traumatic accident or event, etc… our heart center can be the first to bear the blow. These events sometimes can break our hearts wide open, which allows us to perceive things in a new way and creates space and opportunities for us to grow as humans and as souls. In cases where fear prevails, one can experience a closing off of the heart energy center, and our shen or spirit will feel restless, disturbed, and may flee the heart and move to the psychic or mind centers and can create a disturbance of the psyche, resulting in confusion, anxiety, depression, loss of direction, loss of ‘self,’ and possibly addictions and loss of self-worth and self confidence.
For the latter group, a closing of the heart may feel like there’s no hope left and can lead one to flounder for some time. Change is inevitable in life and all of us will have to move through some pretty intense situations at times. It is my wish that I can impart to you a sense of hope, because you are never too broken or too far gone off the path– and as you read this now, I want you to know that you CAN heal, and you WILL feel better, and you ARE supported through this all. Time is a cushion, and Time can truly be our best friend. But because we don’t want to get stuck at one point in Time and remain in a state of anxiety and shock, there are ways to speed up the process and move more gracefully through trauma, shock and grief. The most important thing to remember is to give yourself some compassion and some space to let yourself feel the emotions. Now is not the time to suppress emotions. Let yourself experience them in the moment and pay very special attention to them, because you will see the subtleties of each emotion, how they ebb and flow, come and go, and how it evolves.
Compassion for the self can be giving yourself (your body) a bath or shower and providing yourself a hot meal. Compassion for the self can be taking a nap when you feel exhausted, or making a play date with a friend. Compassion for the self can be very simple acts of kindness that you show to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual self that show that you are worthy of love. It doesn’t have to be much. If you are low on energy or motivation, reaching out for help from others can be the biggest act of compassion for yourself you could do!
So you’ve read this far and you’re wondering “… but what else can I do? I feel so overwhelmed and lost.” We’ve established that the energetic heart center is the center that is our main focus to help us move through grief and loss, and is the one that takes on the blow of these experiences. We’ve also established that when our heart center is hit with rapid change, trauma, and shock, that our ‘shen’ or ‘spirit’ can get disturbed and leave us for a time, which can cause soul loss, loss of self, loss of direction, anxiety, depression, etc. What we need to do in these situations is nourish the heart and support the heart both physically and spiritually.
From an herbalist perspective, my favorite heart-nourishing herbs are Hawthorn, Linden, Motherwort and Rose. These herbs not only help support the heart and alleviate anxieties, but they also open up the heart to more and more love and compassion for the self and others. They allow one to move through grief and let go of the people and situations that no longer serve their highest good. I’ve found that a sweet elixir made with these four or any combination of these four herbs is such a beautiful remedy and feels like a hug from the Universal Mother herself.
And then there’s energetic healing, such as Reiki or Healing Touch. Practicing these on oneself daily will help ease the transition of change and allow one to move through heavy emotions and thought patterns and will bring back balance, motivation, and allow the spirit to relax back into the heart center- a safe, loving space. There’s a healing touch meditation that I’ve been doing recently that may benefit you at this time. If you perform it daily or even a few times a week, it can really help open your heart up. It’s called “Spiral Meditation” and is a technique I learned through Healing Touch. Here is a diagram of the meditation (see below):
[Picture is from the Foundations and Practice of Healing Touch manual]
Grief and loss are natural processes of life in which all of us humans (and animals alike) encounter. There are joys and sorrows, having and not having, light days and dark days, living and dying, good moments and bad… the yin and yang of life. The relevance of Robert Frost’s poem “Nothing Gold Can Stay” reminds us of this idea that when we are at the dawn of a new day, the end of night has to happen. Likewise, we cannot hold on to the light of day because by day’s end, night comes and we must sleep. We can therefore see our attachments to people, places, times of the year, etc… and we are allowed to feel grief, sadness, etc. But always remember: Every ending is a new beginning. And every ending requires us to do the work to let go of that which no longer serves us in the future, so that we CAN make way for the new dawn ahead.
Using certain techniques as I’ve outlined in this blog (self-compassion, taking certain herbals, and utilizing the spiral meditation or other forms of energy work), one will be able to make peace with grief and understand that life is cyclic and we are all a part of the greater macrocosm. We will be more inclined to live life to its fullest without the bondage of attachment, because nothing gold can stay.
~Lauren @ Brahmaloka Healing Arts LLC
“Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
